I dwelled on the idea of suicide and fantasized about escaping the torment. I started having severe panic attacks and most of my waking moments (there were many) were filled with uncontrollable sobbing. Hitting rock bottomĪt three months, insomnia is classified as "chronic" if a person has trouble sleeping for three or more nights a week. I was petrified. My diet consisted of plain oatmeal and boiled potatoes - a real warning sign for anyone who knows my culinary prowess. I lost interest in anything that formerly gave me joy. Every sunrise was a countdown to the torture that awaited me that night. Some nights, I fell asleep standing upright only to be shaken awake by heart palpitations. (Submitted by Saniya Warwaruk)įor one full year, I slept an average of two to three hours a night. Herbs, pills, acupuncture and hypnotherapy were among the dozens of solutions Warwaruk tried to cure her sleep issues, but to no avail. Melatonin, valerian, passionflower, eating before bed, not eating before bed, low-carb diet, acupuncture, meditation, breath work, sleep stories, white noise, psychotherapy, naturopathy, GABA, tryptophan, CBD oil, rhodiola, zopiclone, Zoloft, trazodone, olanzapine, psychiatry, chiropractic treatment and hypnotherapy. When I would talk about my insomnia, a standard response was, "Have you tried …?" Yet the more I chased after sleep, the less I slept. Aggravatingly, the results showed I was perfectly healthy. Then came the appointments - the blood work checking for tumours and hormones, the electrocardiogram, the sleep study. At first, I assumed I was nervous about program admission interviews. The selection process came and went, but my sleep problems persisted and I grew more concerned. It started the first week of May with a few nights of 3 a.m. That June, I received that second chance - an acceptance letter into the University of Alberta's dietetics program. I had been dreaming about this letter since the moment I turned in my resignation the previous year.īut my reality had become a nightmare because, for the last two months, I had barely slept more than an hour a night.įirst Person When nothing could cure my depression, shock therapy saved my life ![]() How many millennials fantasize about quitting their toxic corporate job and returning to school to follow their calling? It's a reminder of my failure to do what most other living things accomplish with seemingly no effort.Ģ021 should have been the best year of my life. I can't stay out in the hallway all night, but the idea of getting in bed is equally torturous. I'm crying and my husband is doing his best to calm me. I can't bring myself to go inside my bedroom. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ. This First Person article is written by Saniya Warwaruk, a dietetics student at the University of Alberta and an avid sleeper.
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